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NBA Loud - by Rick Gillispie

[ June 2006 ] [ August 2006 ]

NBA Loud - July 2006

Dennis Rodman: NBA Fruit Loop and Super Freak.

July 31st 2006 10:46

There have been some interesting characters to say the least in NBA

Dennis Rodman was just misunderstood. (Image from Wikipedia)

history, but perhaps none was as crazy as Dennis Rodman. The Worm as he was popular known was an fruit loop par excellence, but it wasn't always that way.

When Rodman was drafted by the Detroit Pistons in the second round he was an shy Texas kid from a Division 3 University. What does Division 3 mean? Basically the third tier of college basketball. Rodzilla was a total work horse who was an physical stud, while having the type of work ethic that would make coaches drool.

The Pistons picked Dennis in the 1986 draft and couldn't have been in a better position to develop as a basketball player. Rodman was not only fortunate to play for a star studded team, but under the guidance of legendary coach Chuck Daly who would harness Rodman's energy and enthusiasm in a positive manner.

Rodzilla was most well known for his rebounding and defensive efforts and was recognised for his work stopping the opposition, winning the Defensive Player of the Year award in 1988. Do you know what else, dear reader? The man was so sensitive and stoked to win the award that he burst out crying in

Rodman and Hulk Hogan would form a deadly wrestling duo. (Image from Wikipedia)

public.

Although, people familiar with Rodman would guess that the Worm was the ultimate show pony, it is far from the case. Many people who know the inner workings of the man would attest to the fact that he was an extremely shy and sensitive person. However, there were signs that the man was not totally with it during his time with Detroit.

During his rookie season with the Pistons and battling the Boston Celtics with the legendary Larry Bird, Rodman, made a name for himself by having an outstanding defensive outfit on the superstar Celtic. When the Pistons were finally knocked out, Rodman courted controversy when he suggested that the reason Bird was so popular with the public and the press was because he was white. Needless, to say this caused a shit storm, especially when Isiah Thomas agreed with Rodman's critique. Both players were forced to apologise, but Rodman would clarify his comments years later by stating that Bird was actually close to unstoppable, and that he should have said that the reason Bird was so loved was because he played in Boston, rather than being white.

Perhaps the seminal night for Rodman was in 1993 when he was in the Detroit

Read 'Bad as I Wanna Be' for graphic details on sex with Madonna. (Image from Wikipedia)

Pistons carpark with a shotgun by his side, contemplating suicide. In his biography Bad as I Wanna Be, Rodman would state that it was this night the 'old' Dennis Rodman was killed, leading to the Worm we would all know and love.

Rodman was traded to the San Antonio Spurs during the 1993 offseason where he would break out into wider public consciousness by dying his hair a variety of colours, acting like a big loon and dating Madonna.

There was little doubt that Rodman was an effective rebounder and defender, but his crazy antics were becoming too much for the conservative Spurs organisation, and disciplinarian General Manager Gregg Popovich who traded Rodman to the Bulls.

Upon joining the Chicago Bulls and with Michael Jordan on the roster, things got really crazy. The attention on the Bulls was out of the stratosphere and Dennis thrived in the environment. Jordan wouldn't tolerate any drama from the Worm, while Coach Phil Jackson had Rodman on a tight leash. Rodman would help the Bulls win three consecutive championships, while gaining rebouding and defensive accolades along the way.

Rodman's time with the Bulls was without total drama. Kicking camera people, headbutting refs and dissing Mormons were some of his transgressions with Chicago.

Perhaps the most bizarre stunt that Rodman was involved in was when he rocked up to a book signing in a full wedding dress. Weird.

After his time with the Bulls, Dennis bounced around with the Lakers and Dallas which dumped him like a hot potato.

Dennis' personal life would see him get involved with former uber-babe Carmen Electra, marry her, dump her, then get arrested for assaulting her.

Rodman would get involved in professional wrestling with Hulk Hogan, while being a regular on police arrest sheets.

Most recently Rodman was signed to play basketball for a team in London, while probably shagging white chicks around the world. Respect.

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Preview of FIBA World Championships

July 29th 2006 03:39

The FIBA World Championships is almost upon us and what better time

Yao Ming one of the stars for China. (Image from Wikipedia)

than now to preview the biggest basketball showcase outside of the Olympics. The tournament will be held in Japan this year from the 19th of August to the 3rd of September. This year's tournament sees 24 teams competing for the title of world champions from diverse countries such as Lebanon and Qatar!

Tournament play consists of four groups playing round robin matches, with the top two going onto the next round - very much like that other little world championship that was played this year involving football. You may have heard of it - the FIFA World Cup.

Serbia and Montenegro are the defending champions this time around and once again are fielding an powerful team, but perhaps not as strong as times past. Believe it or not, the Balkan States are basketball powerhouses. It may be hard to fathom but the entire continent of Europe consists of some very good basketball playing talent and nations. Not bad for an area where white people are most prominent!

The continent of South America are no slouches either when it comes to hoops with Argentina finishing as the runner-up in the last world championships, while entering this tournament as the defending Olympic champions.

However, I get the sense that all readers out there are curious as to how the boys from the Land Down Under might fare in the game of basketball? The answer quite simply is very well, thank you very much for asking. Oz-straya is ranked in the top 10 in the world, and considered a good basketball nation. Very much like football our women and junior teams are much more acclaimed than the men - but it is the humans with Y chromosome that gets most of the press and love.

The United States as alluded to in the last entry have decided to field a team that

Andres Nocioni will be doing the grunt work for Argentina. (Image from Wikipedia)

is more cohesive, while still exhibiting some of the star power of teams of yore - Dwayne Wade anyone? The US as always will be a team to watch and fear, but not as much as times past. Many of the international teams have players with NBA experience and aren't afraid to mix it up with the Yanks. In fact many of the best players of the tournament may not even be American!

The FIBA World Championships has always played second fiddle to the Olympics in terms of international basketball tournament exposure, but this should not be the case. The world championship is competitive and most of the competing teams are fielding very strong teams, featuring outstanding ballers.

Very much like the football world cup, the basketball version features an diverse array of teams representing every continent on earth - which in turn reflects the popularity of the game. Basketball is arguably the most popular sport on earth after football, and the exceptional strength of its marquee tournaments illustrates the global reach of the game. Watch this tournament and love the game because it is a sport without peer.

GROUP A

Argentina
France
Lebanon
Serbia & Montenegro
Venezuela

GROUP B

Angola
Germany
Japan
New Zealand
Panama
Spain

GROUP C

Australia
Brazil
Greece
Lithuania
Qatar
Turkey

GROUP D

China
Italy
Puerto Rico
Senegal
Slovenia
USA

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The 'Dream' in the US Team is Back!

July 27th 2006 11:33

The basketball world championships are almost amongst us once again and the US squad is close to picking their final team of twelve. The faces on the

Captain Kirk is running the ship for the US. (Image from Wikipedia)

US team are still recognisable, but the difference this time is that a more rounded team is intended to be picked for the men representing the stars and stripes.

In times past marquee names were given priority, sacrificing the concept of a cohesive unit. This system worked when the world was still trying to catch up with the US talent, but not anymore. The past two major basketball tournaments saw the so called 'Dream Team' come home without the shiny gold medal and they are now pissed.

Big names are still evident in the US team circa 2006 but there are a lot of other

Chris Paul is bringing the speed. (Image from Wikipedia)

role players thatam would thrive under the international version of basketball.
Players such as Bruce Bowen, Kirk Hinrich and Brad Miller are names that are only known to the most avid of basketball fans. However, don't think for a moment that those players are slouches because they can seriously ball.

'Dream Teams' of the past were victims of playing an NBA style of basketball which was tossing the ball down low and trying to let their skillfull big men score. This style of play was stagnant and slow, which played into the hands of their international opposition who exhibited a more fluid and open version of basketball which destroyed the US.

Mike Krzyzewski has assembled a team that are versatile and talented, whilst still being to straight up ball. Coach K has also opened up training camp earlier

Bruce is going to get nasty with the world. (Image from Wikipedia)

than times past allowing his men to acquaint themselves with the style of play demanded in the world game.

Perhaps the most significant characteristic of this year's version of the
American team is the fact that the players in the squad are guys that have no ego. A pleasant change from times past.

Watch out for the boys from the land of the free because they want their mantle back as the kings of basketball. Before you know it you'll be hearing the chants of U-S-A all over Japan.

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The Worst Basketball Films of All Time.

July 25th 2006 10:05

Put your hands up if you love movies! I get the sense there are a whole lot of hands pointing skywards right now. We all have seen magnificent movies that has opened our minds and expanded our horizons. Equally we all have been victims of some absolute stinkers that have made us curse the time that we have wasted and that we’ll never get back. Not so long ago on the pages of NBALOUD we analysed the best basketball films of all time according to this writer – here are the worst.

These movies are so bad that in a lot of ways they are worth watching for the utter nasty stench that surrounds these films. As viewers, these flicks makes us feel dirty and in need of a shower to clean off the grime that encapsulates any person watching these screen “gems”.

In complete honesty this list was far more difficult to compile than the best basketball themed movies because there have been some absolute howlers that are almost all as equally bad. The dire pain that these films inflict on this writer has been so profound that I still wake up at night screaming in searing pain. The horror, the horror…

5. The Air Up There

Kevin Bacon stars as college basketball coach Jimmy Dolan, who is having a

difficult time professionally and personally. After blowing a major recruiting effort he spies a missionary film of a spectacular basketball player in Africa who is part of the Winabe tribe and gets a drunken epiphany.

Let us go back a bit and state this important plot point: Jimmy Dolan is a coach of a Catholic college! So, not only do we get a terrible basketball film, but imperialist overtones of the white man leading the minority to modernisation.

Dolan goes to Kenya to convince the basketball prodigy Saleh by any means possible to come and play basketball for his team. So, what we get is Kevin Bacon not only acting like he knows about ball, but trying to play the game too! We have all seen how fleet footed he is in Footloose, but his balling skills in this movie are dire. Yes, I realise that in Footloose there was a double dancing, but at least the shots of Bacon actually dancing looked half convincing. In The Air Up There, Bacon’s skills are so awful that even my deceased grandmother would have more ball skills than Kev, and she hasn’t played the game in her life and is actually dead!

Sorry grandma for using your name in vain and in such horrible circumstances.

4. Like Mike

Now Lil’ Bow Wow, or Bow Wow as he prefers to be called now has never

been high in my list of artists with credibility. His faux-gangsta posing just makes this writer want to gag, very much like his role in Like Mike.

Like Mike also has the distinction of having that little kid in Jerry Maguire starring in this film too. This is as much of a gag-fest as Deep Throat was.

Lil’ Bow Wow plays Calvin, an orphan, who one day comes across a pair of magical old sneakers that gives him the ability to play unbelievable basketball. Calvin eventually plays for an NBA team and against all odds becomes an inspiration, after going through the predictable hardships that befall young Calvin from his fellow NBA teammates.

The worst aspect of this film? The NBA actually gave permission to use its licensing and that actual players appear in this film. Worse still they are made to act like they’re being schooled on the court by a punk kid!

The final indignation that any viewer has to endure whilst watching this film is to listen to the crappy rhymes of Lil’ Bow Wow.

3. Eddie

An even harder to swallow premise than Kevin Bacon acting as a basketball coach is Whoopi Goldberg playing one! But wait, it gets better. Do you dear readers know how Eddie gets to be a coach of the New York Knicks no less? Well, she wins a contest to sit on the bench one night as an honorary coach and so impresses the new, redneck owner of the Knicks that he hires her permanently to be coach.

Eddie, allow this author to emphasise is a mad Knicks fan and a very knowledgeable basketball aficionado. The sinister plot it turns out is that Wild Bill the owner of the Knicks wants New York to stink so he can move the team to St. Louis.

The other horrendous aspect of Eddie is that real NBA players make up a lot of the cast and are required to actually act! Well, let’s just say these men make the actors in the movie Showgirls look like Oscar nominees!

Get ready to puke your insides out watching Eddie try to coach a team full of professionals and actually take a charge!

You, go girl!

2. The Fish that Saved Pittsburgh

The great Julius Erving is without a shadow of a doubt one of the greatest and most popular basketball players to ever lace up some high tops. However, playing basketballer Moses Guthrie in The Fish that Saved Pittsburgh has got to be one of the more confounding career moves ever taken by an athlete.

The plot is inane. Allow me to illustrate: The Pittsburgh basketball team is utterly hopeless except for Guthrie. The other players feel the reason behind their inept basketball performances is not because of their own lack of talent, but because Moses is hogging the spotlight! So, what course of action do the players take? They walk out on the team of course! Brilliant. Why didn’t we all think of that?

The plot isn’t weird enough already? Well, the towel boy Tyrone decides to consult with an astrologist who suggests that the team should hold open tryouts for the team and select players who were born under the same star sign as Guthrie – Pisces.

What we get is a bunch of weirdos who naturally come together to form a star basketball team.

The amazing thing is that The Fish that Saved Pittsburgh has become a somewhat cult film with its disco inspired soundtrack and setting.

This film is so bad that it is almost “good”.

1. Slam Dunk Ernest

Part of the Ernest does jack shit series Jim Varney once again plays the dimwit title character.

Ernest begins life in this film as a mascot for a city league team that he is intent on joining. After one of the players gets injured he steps into the team and becomes a star.

How does the slack-jawed yokel become a superstar baller? Well, he obtains a pair of magical shoes (Now where have we seen this plot before?) from an archangel played by Kareem Abdul-Jabbar which gives Ernest the skills to jump higher than any basketball player out there. Kareem must have decided to star in this movie after a session smoking his medicinal marijuana this writer thinks.

The city league team wins the tournament and plays NBA team the Charlotte Hornets whose players become jealous of the attention that Ernest receives.

This movie went straight to video. Enough said.

* All Images in this post are from Wikipedia

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Michael Jordan Involved in Sex Lawsuit. NBA Player Charged with Drug Possession.

July 24th 2006 11:04

MATURE CONTENT

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NBALOUD is on Hiatus for the Weekend.

July 20th 2006 02:07

All fans of NBALOUD don’t despair, but this writer is going to disappear from today till Sunday the 23rd due to the UNSW Law Ski Trip. I’ll be in an area that has as much white, powdery stuff as a North Shore society party. Please don’t get all emotional at my absence for all of my dear readers won’t be far away from my thoughts. Awwww.

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Where is Allen Iverson Heading?

July 19th 2006 11:46

The question on everyone’s lips: Is Marissa getting whacked on the OC? And will she end up in Queensland? Wait a minute, this isn’t a forum for

AI: One cool mofo. (Image from alleniversonlive.com)

trash television, but rather a space for highbrow discussion such as crime, groupies, drugs and criminal behaviour! Oh, and some sport called basketball, in some league called the NBA, and in some faraway land called America! Well, the other question on the minds of the collective known as humanity is: What team is Allen Iverson heading to? From Melbourne to Mumbai this query is being hotly debated on every street corner and coffee salon! Don’t believe me? Why shouldn’t you! I am Stanley hear me roar!

Philly Sixers General Manager Billy King short of drawing diagrams has all but confirmed the fact that his biggest drawcard, and Philadelphia darling, Allen Iverson is on the move. The most discussed destination thus far for AI has been Boston, but a trade hasn’t been pulled yet due to a myriad of reasons. NBA rules stipulate that contract numbers must be similar between the teams so one player can be traded for three for example. Furthermore, other teams can get involved and a whole complicated inter-relationship will evolve with numerous teams mixing and matching players – just like Temptation Island.

There is no doubting the superstar credentials of Allen Iverson and his will to

My man is freaking out about his destination. (Image from alleniversonlive.com)

win. Hell, the man averaged 33 points last season! That, my dear reader is not an easy feat to achieve, especially at 31 years of age. Which also is the exact reason why Iverson hasn’t been attractive trade bait as Billy King would have liked. We have an aging superstar, who demands a lot of shots, while being small and taking a heap of punishment. Iverson is no Shaquille O’Neal who is a beast of a human being, but rather a fragile player who has many miles on the good ol’ engine. Also, if Iverson was to go to any team he would immediately change the dynamic with his demands for the ball and being a one man scoring machine. This reality rules out contenders who are close to the championship, leaving teams on the bottom rung of the NBA ladder to clamour for his services – which they aren’t.

A hair raising talent. (Image from slamonline.com)

The other and perhaps most important factor: money. Paying AI $20 million per year for a 31 year old isn’t smart business practice.

Finally, AI still has not truly shaken off his notorious reputation and being sent to a losing team would surely make the great man go postal. It is amazing in this world that we have such lofty ideals as loyalty to an entity, but as soon as the party with the lower bargaining power, in this case Iverson, is no longer useful to the machine he gets cast away – history virtually erased.

Damn the Man!

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Streetball and the And1 Mix Tapes

July 18th 2006 12:11

Are there any readers out there familiar with the following monikers

The Professor is the only white player on the And1 team and the most popular. (Image from and1.com)

and terms? The Professor, Hot Sauce, Skip to My Lou, Sik Wit It, Off the Chain, Off the Hizzle etc. Has this NBA writer been smoking too much whacky tabbac-y? Maybe this humble writer has been watching too much Doggy Fizzle Televizzle, or maybe I have finally received my doctorate in Ebonics! Well, no, none of the above, the aforementioned words and labels refers to streetball. The term streetball relates to the version of basketball that we are most familiar – ball that is played on mainly urban playgrounds.

The NBA maybe the domain of the gods of the game, streetball is the heart and soul. The street game is where NBA players not only start off their careers, but receive their inspiration. For all intents and purposes streetball has the same rules as the regular game, but it is more concerned with style, with substance. It’s not enough to win, but you have to win pretty. The best exponents of the style achieve things on the basketball court that we can’t even imagine.

Don't let Escalade's size fool you. He can ball with style. (Image from and1.com)

Streetball has garnered increased interest in recent years with the most prominent proponents of the style being the And1 Streetball team. Many readers might not be familiar with the team, but this writer can assure you that any suburban teenager who is obsessed with urban culture can tell you who these guys are. They are demigods in a lot of areas and in many ways just as popular as NBA players.

And1 is a basketball apparel brand that has a decidedly outlaw image and are closely associated with the street game. Although a number of NBA players rock the And1 brand, it is most connected with the street version of the game. The And1 team came into prominence due to underground basketball tapes that was working its way around amongst American inner-city kids finally falling into the hands of the And1 company.

The founders of the And1 brand were blown away with what they were watching and signed up the men on the tape to form a team of streetball l

Spyda doing his thang. (Image from and1.com)

egends to take on all comers. ESPN followed suit and the rest is history. The And1 Mix tape Tours have become an American summer staple drawing big crowds and wannabe legends.

Streetball is what Jazz used to be when Miles Davis and John Coltrane would just jam without form and rules, or hip hop when it first came into being with DJ Kool Herc or Afrika Bambaataa creating something new and groundbreaking. Streetball is a form of basketball that has to be seen to be believed. Players like the And1 ballers make the game seem so beautiful that it can be equated to art, rather than sport.

This writer urges all readers to sit back and enjoy the visual stylings before you because you’ll be transported to another basketball planet.

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Who Cares About the Socceroos. Support the Boomers!

July 17th 2006 08:02

The Footballroos may have represented Australia with great honour in the recent World Cup but who really thought the team had a chance of

Put the Socceroos out of your mind and love the Boomers. I order you to! (Image from Wikipedia)

winning? Be honest. However, if any reader out there is still thirsty to see more green and gold action from athletes representing a nation full of ockers should consider watching the basketball world championships next month in Japan. Australia is there and is a great medal chance. Believe it or not, Australia is a fantastic basketball nation with both male and female teams highly regarded.

Readers out there may think that international basketball competitions are dominated by the Americans who are represented by NBA players but this is not the case. Although, individually the US team have more talent than any other team on earth they actually have lousy team chemistry in recent times. They didn’t win the last championships which saw the team from Serbia & Montenegro take out the whole shebang, while in the Athens Olympics the winner were from Argentina. The Olympics bore witness to the so-called ‘Dream Team’ come third, while in the 2002 championships they didn’t even figure in the medals!

As you can see dear reader the Americans aren’t as dominant and will find it

Has anyone cared about Australian basketball since the retirement of Andrew Gaze? (Image from FIBA.com)

extremely difficult to win the whole thing. The world has caught up with the United States and arguably play a more attractive and cohesive style of basketball. American players are notorious for playing showy low percentage basketball and are fundamentally flawed in a lot of aspects of the game.

Just like football, the presence of players from an international background has not only made the NBA more cosmopolitan, but has improved the collective standard of world basketball.

The Boomers, even though aren’t as renowned as their female counterparts, the Opals are as mentioned earlier a fair chance to gain a medal. Male Australian teams have found a lack of success in the senior ranks thus far, but in junior basketball they have been extremely successful winning both gold and silver.

The official World Champs mascots. How very un-Japanese looking these mascots are. (Image from FIBA.com)

Australia has a strong team but has drawn a tough group with basketball powerhouses Greece, Lithuania and Brazil. Yes, you have read correctly, Greece and Brazil has talented basketball teams and aren’t exclusively focused on football. In fact despite our perceptions of Greek boys obsessed with football here in Australia growing up the opposite is the reality – basketball is the number one sport in Greece. Now, that your assumptions have been messed with allow me to break another misconception – this NBA writer has flaws! Yes, believe it or not this “humble” writer isn’t as perfect as you dear reader is led to believe.

Now that the Oprah component of this entry is done with let us look at the Boomer squad for the World Championships in August.

Boomers Squad for World Championships

David Andersen
Chris Anstey
David Barlow
Andrew Bogut
Aaron Bruce
CJ Bruton
Adam Caporn
Peter Crawford
Ian Crosswhite
Brad Davidson
Daniel Dillon
Oscar Forman
James Harvey
Wade Helliwell
Russel Hinder
Jacob Holmes
Nathan Jawai
Luke Kendall
Daniel Kickert
Matthew Knight
Steven Leven
Sam Mackinnon
Alex Maric
Steven Markovic
Damien Martin
Patrick Mills
Neil Mottram
Brad Newley
Matthew Nielsen
Damian Ryan
Glen Saville
Jason Smith
Greg Vanderjagt
Mark Worthingon

Coach: Brian Goorjian

So, dear reader, wrap yourself in the green and gold again and embrace this team from the Land Down Under, where women blow and men chunder! Yes, I know those aren’t the right lyrics but these lines is more of an accurate representation of Australians!

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Offseason NBA News and Rumours

July 16th 2006 03:57

Although it is the NBA offseason and the marquee players are partying and hanging around gorgeous women there really isn’t a break in the business

Ben Wallace: The next Michael Jordan. (Image from Wikipedia)

side of things. With the draft, free agency signings, summer leagues, the NBA is always humming along, albeit a little more quietly during this time of the year. NBALOUD so far has covered, violence, drugs and not to mention the ladies, but ‘what about the offseason news?’ I hear hardcore NBA fans asking. Firstly, if you were a hardcore fan of the NBA you’d know the latest gossip wouldn’t you? NBALOUD isn’t a depository for breaking news here. The only time I get access to players is when I am playing video games such as NBA Live or having an ‘episode’ where I hallucinate and see things that aren’t real.

In the off chance that there are NBA fans out there who aren’t up to speed of the latest happenings in the league here is the most recent news and rumours in bite sized chunks:

• The Sixers are looking to trade Allen Iverson and his most likely destination might be the Boston Celtics. If the trade does go ahead it should be interesting to see how Iverson and Paul Pierce get along with one another. The relationship should be as stable as John Howard and Snoop Dogg.
• Ben Wallace has been traded to the Chicago Bulls! Yes, you’ve read correctly. This NBA writer will pretend that all the visitors to this space will have their mouths open with surprise because of the shocking news that they have had to digest. I will give everyone out there a few seconds to catch their breath. Now, there: Was that enough time? Wallace who has so long been synonymous with the Detroit Pistons has called it a day. The flipside is that Big Ben signed for four years at a rumoured cool $52 million. Reports suggest that the big selling point to bring The Beast to Chi-Town was the possibility that Kevin Garnett might be lured back home in the next season.
• Uber-coach Larry Brown has been fired from the New York Knicks with Isiah Thomas taking over from the former super coach. How is Thomas going to go on the hot seat? This NBA writer predicts a riot – in the bad sense of the word.

Well, dear reader with that I bid you all adieu and in the immortal words of Jeff Fenech: ‘I love youse all’.

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WNBA All-Star Week: Women Kicking Butt!

July 15th 2006 04:16

It’s the 10th anniversary of the WNBA and we should all celebrate the fact that not only is there a viable league for women to show off their game on

Lynx rookie Seimone Augustus showing she has big things ahead for her in the WNBA. (Image from Wikipedia)

the hardwood floor, but is extremely popular as well! The league has grown and slowly prospered and is gaining a foothold in the public imagination in the US.

During the week the All-Star game was held and what a great display of basketball was shown by the women. In the 3-point competition veteran superstar Dawn Staley won the inaugural contest in clutch fashion – hitting her final two shots to edge out Katie Douglas by one point, 17-16. Give it up for Dawn!

Unfortunately, Dawn won’t be back to defend her title next year as she has already announced her retirement from the game at the end of the season. What a nice way to leave the game though.

In the All-Star Dribble, Dish and Swish skills competition Minnesota Lynx rookie Seimone Augustus covered the obstacle course faster than any of her competitors, including super-quick, Seattle standout Sue Bird.

The skills competition utilises all of the fundamental aspects of basketball such as speed, accuracy, passing and shooting. The number one pick not only was victorious in the skills competition, but was a surprise selection in her rookie season as an All-Star reserve for the West. Not to mention beating the two time Dribble, Dish and Swish winner Sue Bird.

It was a great display by the rookie who has shown there will be big things ahead for her in the WNBA.

In the main event Lauren Jackson flew the flag for Australia as the starting forward for the West All-Star team. The Western Conference team came into the game with an imposing seven win, zero loss record to the East and looked to be favourites to keep the status quo. The dominance of the West extends

All-Star MVP Katie Douglas was just awesome! (Image from Wikipedia)

further than the All-Star game – the championship team eight of the ten years of WNBA history have come from the west coast. That dear reader is dominance!

All of that history amounted to nought in the 2006 version of the game where the East thrashed the West with a comprehensive 98-82 win. The ladies from the East took a nine point lead into the half, extending it to 25 by the end of the third. The decade long dominance of the West was about to come to an end and how did the ladies from the East celebrate? By turning the game into a dunk contest with the remaining few seconds – first Diana Taurasi missed her attempt, while Michelle Snow put the exclamation mark on the contest with a reverse dunk! What a superwoman!

The All-Star game MVP was the Connecticut Sun’s Katie Douglas who dropped 16 points and who teamed up with three of her club teammates and fellow All-Stars to combine for 39 points to destroy the West. Respect!

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A Short History of the Air Jordan Shoe Brand

July 13th 2006 09:08

Michael Jordan may be the most famous basketball player of all time but

Jumpman. (Image from Wikipedia)

there is another famous association with MJ – Air Jordan’s. Perhaps the most desirable piece of athletic footwear in history, Jordan’s signature shoe brand has been lusted and even killed for by people who have tried desperate means to obtain the fashionable piece of footwear.

In 1984 when His Airness broke into the league he signed with Nike an exclusive shoe deal that was a breakthrough in the sense that this was the first shoe line named after an individual athlete. The shoe is still as popular as ever reaping a reported $33 million in profits in 2005, with the ‘jumpman’ logo identifiable the world over.

The first pair of Air Jordan’s generated huge initial interest when it was

Air Jordan 1. (Image from air-jordans.com)

released to a firestorm of controversy when the NBA tried to ban the shoe due to the black and red colour scheme violating the uniform rules of the league. The symbol of the first pair of the seminal shoes had the words ‘Air Jordan Wings’ as the logo rather than the famous ‘jumpman’.

The ‘jumpman’ didn’t appear on the shoe until the third version when there was a visible air bubble on display as well, the first of its kind. The number 3’s came at a time during a Jordan perfect storm when he received his first MVP award, while winning the slam dunk competition and leading the Bulls to their best record since the mid-70’s. Air Jordan 3 needless to say was extremely popular with the masses but there was a little known fact associated with the third instalment of this shoe line – Jordan wasn’t happy with the first two shoes and threatened to leave prior to the release of Air Jordan 3.

Nike and Jordan’s agents convinced Michael to stay with the company upon the

Air Jordan 3. (Image from air-jordans.com)

release of the third shoe to see how the design would turn out, and how popular the shoe was with the public. Jordan ended up loving the design and so did the public. Who would have known what might have been for Nike and Jordan if he broke the association?

It was during the third release of the shoe that MJ teamed up with Spike Lee and his alter-ego Mars Blackmon to produce the popular commercials for the Air Jordan brand. Mars was a character in Lee’s film She’s Gotta Have It in which he refused to take off his Air Jordan’s even to make love.

Air Jordan number four was the first shoe that was released to a worldwide

Mars: 'It's gotta be the shoes'. (Image from Wikipedia)

consumer market, with its revolutionary cushioning system and groundbreaking design Jordan number 4 was a universal hit, much like its predecessor.

There have been 21 versions of the Air Jordan’s since the original, while the development of the Jordan Team brand has signed up young NBA superstars like Carmelo Anthony displaying the ‘jumpman’ logo on their feet. Furthermore, the Jordan brand has extended its tentacles beyond the game of basketball by signing up American football players such as Terrell Owens and Major League Baseball superstar Derek Jeter to the Jordan team.

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Introducing the All-Marijuana First Team

July 12th 2006 09:45

Put your hands up if you love weed! I see a lot of hands up there with the readers of NBALOUD, not that I am surprised that readers of this space would be into the Mary Jane. Do you readers out there know who else loves Ganga? NBA players apparently!

This plant is one of the reasons why kebabs are so popular. (Image from Wikipedia)

Basketball Players that have been charged with marijuana possession reads like an all-star list of players flying higher than kites!

The NBA regular releases awards and accolades such as the All-NBA First, or Defensive Teams, so let this be the first list of the All-NBA Marijuana Team. Not only are we compiling a roster of which NBA players have been busted for hemp, but under which circumstances they were busted with the magical weed.

So, can we please have a drum roll for the first NBA All-Marijuana Team!

Point Guard: Damon Stoudamire

Mighty Mouse has already been mentioned on these pages for his infamous problems with weed. Let’s just say that walking through an airport metal detector with marijuana wrapped in foil isn’t the brainiest of moves. However, with the accolade of joining the hallowed position with a place in the NBALOUD All-Marijuana team Damon can whoop it up in White Castle!

Shooting Guard: Isaiah “J.R.” Rider

Former NBA player Isaiah Rider is perhaps the poster child of NBA criminality. The man was a walking legal hazard, which included the use of Mary Jane. Rider was a spectacular talent, but a complete fruit loop.

Rider was a high flyer, and no, not just with the consumption of Ganga. Isaiah was a highlight reel waiting to happen every time he walked onto the hardwood floor. Perhaps his most famous moment was during the All-Star weekend in the slam dunk competition when Rider produced a dunk he labelled as the ‘East Bay Funk Dunk’. What was involved in this dunk? Well, while in mid-air Rider swapped the ball from his right to left hand. Nothing spectacular with that right? Well, how ‘bout swapping the ball between his legs!

Now, this writer is not for one moment suggesting that marijuana played a part in his inspiration for the dunk. However, there is no evidence out there to suggest that he didn’t conceive of the idea for the ‘East Bay Funk Dunk’ during a smoke-o session!

Forward: Chris Webber

C-Webb was once a spectacular player who was groomed to be an all time great. It is debatable whether he has lived up to his potential, but his place in the All-Marijuana team is assured when in 1998 while playing for Washington he was pulled over for speeding, driving under the influence of weed and possession of the magical plant.

Want more marijuana trouble from Webber? Later that year while on promotional duties for sponsor Fila in Puerto Rico he was busted by U.S. Customs for carrying 11 grams of Mary Jane with his luggage.

Congratulations, Chris on being an All-Marijuana team member on NBALOUD.

C-Webb livin' La Vida Loca after returning from Puerto Rico. (Image from Wikipedia)

Forward: Rasheed Wallace

A former member of the Portland Jailblazers ‘Sheed has at times been a notorious member of the NBA family. Equally hot-headed and talented Wallace has been renowned for his penchant for collecting technical fouls and getting in trouble with the law.

His place on the prestigious All-Marijuana team was confirmed in 2002 when he was arrested and charged with possession of hemp.

It must be noted that since joining the Detroit Pistons Wallace has been a model citizen. Still, this doesn’t prevent him from being part of the All-Marijuana team!

Centre: Kareem Abdul-Jabbar

Undoubtedly, one of the greatest players in NBA history, the all-time highest scorer has one of the sweetest deals with marijuana ever. Kareem apparently has a prescription for the medicinal use of marijuana in California for nausea-inducing migraine headaches! Word!

Kareem joins Homer Simpson as a legal user of Ganga for medicinal purposes. Apparently. (Image from Wikipedia)

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Darko Milicic - About as Useful as a Solar Powered Torch.

July 11th 2006 07:22

In the last posting we analysed the contracts of the draft class of 2003 which was a stellar year for rookies – LeBron, Dwayne, Bosh and Carmelo are some of the marquee names that came into the league of that great year. There is one name missing. When the players who were drafted announced their intentions to enter the best basketball league in the world there was a name that was perhaps mentioned as much as LeBron James. Who is this man of mystery? Why, come on down Darko Milicic! “Who?” I hear all you readers collectively asking – Darko! Darko! Darko is the answer.

Darko Milicic believe it or not was the number two pick after LeBron James. Yes, that’s right, The Human Victory Cigar was picked before Carmelo Anthony and Dwayne Wade. “Say what? Whatchu talkin’ ‘bout Willis?” Darko was the number two pick and came with a lot of hype. The bad boys from Detroit picked him up and, hey, it didn’t really do them any harm because they won the

Darko Milicic. Who? (Image from Wikipedia)

championship that year! Well, dear reader, Darko was about as useful as a turd flavoured ice cream!

Milicic saw little playing time and the only time he came on and got some court time was when the game result was beyond doubt for Detroit, hence, the nickname ‘The Human Victory Cigar’.

“Surely there must have been something that Detroit saw in him?” I hear all you pleadingly ask this humble NBA writer. Well, we have to keep in mind that Detroit was a good team already and got the number two pick via a trade so they could afford to be experimental in their draft choice and they went to the extreme in far out picks with this one.

Darko was playing in Europe and was extremely young and raw when the Pistons chose him. He looked to be a sound pick – 7-foot, ‘nice’ shooting touch, able to run and jump. What the hell! Let’s pick up the kid. Er, this will probably go down as one of the worst picks in NBA history.

Darko’s career averages – 3 points, 1.9 rebounds and .08 blocks per game. Remember folks, he was picked before Dwayne Wade who is widely considered the best player in the league of this moment.

“What has happened to The Human Victory Cigar?” Well, my curious reader friend, Detroit gave up on their little project and traded him to the Orlando Magic.

Let’s be fair. He is still very young and raw. Perhaps we will see a superstar emerge just yet. Until then, I wouldn’t hold my breath.

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The NBA: Where Millions of Dollars Equates to Poverty.

July 9th 2006 11:15

Since breaking into the NBA in 2003 LeBron James and Carmelo

You'd be smiling too if you just signed for $80 million. (Image from NBA.com)

Anthony have been synonymous with one another. In fact the ‘Melo Man and ‘Bron ‘Bron have been mentioned in the same breath since high school when both were standout ballers garnering unprecedented attention. James and Anthony were the headline duo in perhaps the most outstanding draft in the last 16 years. Chris Bosh of the Toronto Raptors and a certain player by the name of Dwayne Wade also broke into the NBA in the year. The General Managers whose lucky balls dropped for them after wearing their lucky draws must have reached a state of non-sexual orgasm!

Rookies by NBA law are only meant to sign for four years but can be offered contract extensions after their third season. NBA rookies are also tied to a specific contractual number so you don’t really see rookie contracts with “big” numbers. I mean what is a few million a year anyway? That’s peanuts!

The contracts of the class of 2003 have recently had to negotiate new contracts and let’s just say they won’t be wearing raggedy clothing and living in cardboard boxes anytime soon. All of them must have broken into song of

Send this man to the Salvo's because he can't afford to feed his family! (Image from Wikipedia)

‘We’re in the money” while yelling “ka-ching” all over the place!

James was the final significant signature of players from the draft of 2003 and made the Cleveland management sweat on their balls waiting for his John Hancock. What was the magic number I hear everyone inquiring? How bout a five year contract worth $80 million! That’s to compliment his reported $100 million contract with Nike before he even stepped onto an NBA court and was just done with his high school prom!

Carmelo Anthony the third pick and Denver Nugget superstar won’t also be on welfare anytime soon either, also signing an $80 million contract for five years. Dwayne Wade would have also signed for similar numbers.

You know what else dear reader? Once the terms for these contracts expire hese players will have no “restrictions” whatsoever on their contracts so we’ll be talking about $100 million contracts for these guys. Any readers out there who are planning on having kids should consider “guiding” them towards a career in basketball. Purely for the love of course.

For any follower of sports, especially in America, it is quite unusual and frankly obscene for anyone to be “underpaid” when they are making millions of dollars. A few years ago notorious

Benny, just another NBA criminal. (Image from NBA.com)

former player Latrell Sprewell who was both equally talented and demented in the same doses refused to sign a $21 million extension because he saw those figures as an insult and that he had a ‘family to feed’. Well we all know that you can’t possibly feed anyone with $21 million! Sprewell’s children on that salary would be forced to eat pet food because of abject poverty!

For anyone who is firm believer in karma would celebrate with scheudenfreud-ic glee with the news that Sprewell went onto play that season without signing the extension and turned in a stinker. After the end of the 2004-05 season no teams wanted anything to do with a once talented veteran who had turned into a complete basketcase.

In other NBA news the Chicago Bulls mascot Benny has been charged with attacking an off-duty officer. Now that is hardcore!

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Kobe Bryant: Saint or Sinner?

July 8th 2006 09:34

For anyone who has a passing knowledge of NBA basketball, or American sporting icons would be familiar with the name of Kobe Bryant. The superstar Los Angeles Laker whose name sounds like a Japanese anime character conjures up extreme emotions with the mere utterance of his name – you either love or loathe him. There is no middle ground.

No one doubts the individual basketball genius of Bryant, but it is his character

Bryant doing something that critics accuse him of doing too much sometimes - shooting. (Image from Wikipedia)

that comes under the most scrutiny. In recent years we have seen him charged with rape, then have the charges dismissed. He has also been accused of breaking up a basketball dynasty by forcing Shaquille O’Neal to seek a title in Miami and by cutting off super coach Phil Jackson, only to see the guru return with more control of Bryant who has seen the dark side of basketball life without Phil. Bryant has often been accused of being both aloof and a bona fide basketball super freak in equal measure.

Bryant burst into the league straight out of high school as a 17 year old and into the glitz and glamour of the NBA. Kobe didn’t have the usual inner-city, ghetto upbringing that is evident in the background of most of his contemporaries. Instead Bryant’s father was former NBA player Joe “Jellybean” Bryant who plied his trade in such un-ghetto nations like Italy. In fact Bryant is fluent in Italian.

It became apparent early on that Kobe had confidence that belied his years and the flashes of athletic genius were there for the entire world to see. In his rookie year during a playoff series against the Utah Jazz and facing elimination, Bryant attempted to take three big shots to try and keep the Lakers in the playoffs – all airballs. But the world bore witness to a budding superstar. Cockiness like that isn’t taught, but innate.

In subsequent years Bryant would continually breakout and with the pairing with Shaquille O’Neal the Lakers would go on to win three titles in a row, the first coming in the 1999-2000 season.

Bryant finally gets a ghetto makeover with a mugshot. (Image from Wikipedia)

Usually winning championships would promote harmony within sporting franchises but Kobe and Shaq were two hard-headed individuals who both had intentions of being the big man within the Lakers. Bryant has always been cast as the villain in his disputes with Jackson and O’Neal, but one cannot ignore the fact that Shaq has the capacity to be difficult to deal with in certain circumstances. Shaq usually got a pass because he had a more endearing persona both with the press and the public, while Bryant was a lot more reserved. Both players would use the media to snipe at each other ultimately leading to the destruction of the dynasty in progress with Bryant copping most of the criticism.

Kobe’s image had always been plain and non-threatening and with his privileged background and standoffish behaviour he wasn’t as popular with teammates or the public as one would expect from someone so talented. Fellow players thought he wasn’t “ghetto” enough, while fans just thought he was plain boring.

The non-threatening image of Bryant would make him a relatively popular endorser for Middle America, but that soon fell apart with the subsequent sexual assault charges bought against him in 2003.

While staying in a Colorado hotel during a rehabilitation session for an injury Bryant was accused of assaulting a 19 year who was employed at the hotel. Lurid details became public of what may have happened in the hotel room, while the sexual history of the accuser was published for the world to read. Worse yet was to come when an American tabloid published the picture of the alleged victim while the preliminary trial investigations came to light. The case divided America along racial lines that were similarly apparent during the O.J. Simpson trial when it was also revealed that Bryant’s alleged victim was white.

The criminal trial never went into the courtroom when the alleged victim refused to testify in light of the publicity that the trial was generating. However, the two parties reached a confidential settlement.

Bryant has always had a lukewarm relationship with the press and public before the sexual allegations, but the aftermath of his 2003 ordeal saw his popularity plummet. Detractors have always pointed out this selfishness in his play and the detached behaviour he carried himself within the team environment.

The past few years have seen Bryant heavily trying to rehabilitate his battered reputation with the previous season being his best individually, with the crowning moment coming in the game against the Toronto Raptors where Bryant scored 81 points, while dragging a woeful Lakers team almost single-handedly into playoff contention.

Whatever one may think of Bryant his talent and appetite for basketball success is unparalleled, while his capacity for drama makes him a compelling basketball sideshow. Perhaps the only true indication of Bryant’s place within the NBA sphere will become apparent with the passing of time and the judgements of history. Until then just enjoy his immense individual talent.

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Yao Ming: Chinese Basketball Super-Stud.

July 6th 2006 10:43

Yao. Yo. Yao. Yo.

Yao Ming is one of the most popular players in the world and has put Chinese basketball on the map. The man is as much of a physical freak as Shaquille O’Neal with his size, quick hands and agility Ming has been a revelation. It has been reported widely that Yao was genetically created by the Chinese government by having the tallest female and male in China who were both basketball players to procreate, which resulted in Ming.

Thumbnail Biography

Date of Birth: 12 September 1980
Height: 2.26 cm
Draft: 2002 (First pick overall)
Average Points per Game: 17.5
Rebounds per Game: 8.8

Awards and Career Highlights

• 3-time NBA All-Star (2003-05)
• Ranks third in all time blocks for the Houston Rockets and eighth overall.
• Voted Sporting News Rookie Rookie of the Year by NBA Executives.

Yao has been trained in the game since he was nine and reportedly hated the

Yao and some sinister looking clown. (Image from yaomingfanclub.com)

game as a youngster, but the tough coaching from his superiors ensured that there was only one destination for Yao – absolute basketball dominance.

Ming started off as a 17 year old in the Chinese Basketball Association with the Shanghai Sharks and has been with the national team since the age of 18. Ming won the MVP award with the Sharks in the 2000-01 season at the age of 20 averaging 27 points and 19 rebounds per game. ‘Who da man?’ I can hear everyone asking.

The Beast from the Far East has had a patchy career since breaking into the NBA delivering outstanding performances one game and virtually invisible the next. Yao’s team the Houston Rockets traded for super freak player Tracy McGrady in their attempts to form a unstoppable tandem but the result has been a failure due to the fact that both players have been injured for

The basket is pretty close when you're 7'6". (Image from yaomingfanclub.com)

long periods, and have been unable to play with each other for any extended time. However, there is no doubting that when both players are healthy they are a great duo that may have some great success in the future – if both are fit.

The sky is the limit for Yao both literally and metaphorically. Popular with both players and the public, Ming has become one of the most recognisable athletes in the world. Plus, he seems to be upstanding guy helping out with underprivileged kids in the Houston area on a regular basis, and famously lending his support to raising awareness for the SARS epidemic that had affected China a few years back.

Yao. Yo!

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Criminal Behaviour in the NBA

July 5th 2006 13:47

Confession: Perfection bores this NBA writer. Well, there is no such thing as real perfection, but the imagery of flawlessness disinterests me. Athletes that lead seemingly idyllic lives are considered boring on this space – Ian Thorpe for one is someone who I find as a yawn. Where am I leading with this introduction? Well, the NBA is often perceived as a league that has criminals on every team roster. Could it be the fact that over 80% of NBA players are of African-American heritage so it is easy to label the league as a haven for miscreants?

Journalists in the United States love writing about stories of NBA players leading the thug life. Guess what? This NBA writer doesn’t care about the negative image of the league, but actually embraces it. There are crimes that aren’t cool though, but for the most part NBA players are getting arrested for inane things – consumption of marijuana and speeding are two crimes that often appear on the criminal blip.

Jeff Benedict in his book Out of Bounds: Inside the NBA’s Culture of Rape, Violence & Crime, he claims that 40% of players in the league have criminal records. It can be argued that the NBA is just a microcosm of society where criminals mix with law abiding citizens. It’s a strange phenomenon that the public places such unrealistic demands on athletes to act in a saintly matter because the reality is that no one on earth can live up to the expectations of perfect behaviour that people have with athletes.

The seedy side of life has always fascinated this humble writer so let’s write up a mini rap sheet of NBA players who have had brushes with the law.

Allen Iverson

AI is the alleged poster child of the NBA criminal. It doesn’t help with perceptions that he has cornrows, tattoos, bling and has a penchant for baggy clothing. However, he remains one of the most popular players in the NBA and has matured as he has established himself in the league.

Earlier in his career it was a different story. While in high school Iverson was incarcerated for a short period of time for his role in a bowling alley brawl that was allegedly racially motivated. Iverson and three other friends who were all black were jailed and convicted of a ‘maiming-by-mob’ charge that drew a 15-year prison sentence. After spending four months in jail the conviction was overturned due to a lack of evidence of Iverson’s involvement in the brawl.

In 2002 Iverson was once again in trouble with the law when he was arrested for gun and assault related crimes, but all charges were eventually dismissed.

Believe it or not Iverson is now a model NBA citizen. He is an elder statesman and during the 2004 Olympics was the exemplary American. This writer has always had love for either the good or bad Iverson.

AI looking like he has lived the thug life. (Image from thesmokinggun.com)

Jason Kidd

When Jason Kidd was arrested in 2001 and charged with domestic abuse, which came as a shock for many NBA fans because Kidd has been a wonderful ambassador for the league. Kidd pleaded guilty and was ordered to attend anger management classes. Let’s just call this an aberration in behaviour in which we are all capable.

Tsk, tsk, tsk, bad Kidd. (Image from thesmokinggun.com

Dennis Rodman

Perhaps the most (in)famous NBA bad boy was former player Dennis Rodman who has been arrested numerous times for misbehaviour. In 1999 while being married to Carmen Electra the Worm was arrested for assaulting his wife, while Electra was charged with assaulting Rodman. All charges were subsequently dropped. Dennis over the years has been arrested for offences related to alcohol. Come on! Alcohol? The majority of the Australian public would be in trouble for grog related crime!

Dennis Rodman: Bad as he wants to be. (Image from thesmokinggun.com

Damon Stoudamire

Mighty Mouse was once a member of the criminally renowned team of the Portland Trailblazers aka. Jailblazers. The Jailblazers of the 90’s were not only talented, but troublesome, with Damon leading the way. Stoudamire was

Damon joined Harold and Kumar in White Castle. (Image from nbacriminals.com)

arrested for crimes related to marijuana in 2002, but got off the hook when the search was deemed illegal. Later that year he was in trouble for weed related crime again. However, the icing on the cake was in 2003 when he tried to pass through an airport metal detector with Mary Jane wrapped in foil. Let’s just get down on our knees and just proclaim Stoudamire as Stoner King Genius!

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Profile of Ass Kicking Female Player Lauren Jackson

July 4th 2006 11:52

Let this humble writer express his love for the fairer sex. Women rock,

Lauren with her MVP Award (Image from Wikipedia)

rule and are the perfect pieces of creation on this green earth! Women kick butt so much that it is criminal that there has been next to nothing written about them in this space. That is going to change as of this moment. Mark this 4th of July down in history as a momentous day for NBALOUD, because lets face it, nothing else of significance has ever happened on this date.

So, which superwoman gets the honour of being the first female written about by this humble writer? Can we have a drum roll please? Why it’s Australia’s own Lauren Jackson! Give it up for Lauren, because she is arguably the best basketball player this nation has ever produced – male or female!

Thumbnail Biography

Date of Birth: 11/5/1981
Height: 1.96 cm
Draft: 2001 (1st overall)
Average Points per Game: 18.5
Average Rebounds per Game: 7.8
Blocks per Game: 2.14

Awards and Career Highlights

2003 WNBA MVP
2005 WNBA All-Star
2003 All-WNBA First Team
Youngest Player in WNBA History to reach 1000 points.
2004 WNBA Championship Winner.

What can you write about Lauren Jackson that hasn’t been already written here in Australia? She is just a phenomenal player that has single-handedly made the Opals a feared basketball unit worldwide.

Lauren was bred to play basketball with her combination of height, talent and never-say-die-attitude. Also, being born to parents who both represented Australia in basketball would have played a major part in the formation of her destiny. She is to basketball what Harry Kewell is to the Socceroos – the face of the Opals.

Lauren and Lisa are best friends. Not! (Image from Wikipedia)

Jackson first appeared in the green and gold at the tender age of 16, making history as the youngest player ever picked for the national team. A year later at the World Championships she became the youngest Australian woman ever to compete in a major tournament averaging 10 points, while helping the Opals to capture the bronze medal. What is the word of the day readers? Phenomenon!

Dominating the WNBL Jackson perhaps came into prominence during the 2000 Sydney Olympics when she recorded 127 points, 23 blocked shots, 12 steals, and 67 rebounds in the whole tournament! Not only did she lead the Opals in every conceivable statistic on their way to winning the silver medal, but she went toe-to-toe with US superstar basketball player Lisa Leslie in the finals by ripping off her hair extensions! Needless to say their relationship has been frosty ever since.

Do you know what else makes Lauren Jackson so much cooler dear reader? Jackson has appeared nude in the arty Black White magazine prior to the 2000 games, and the Sports Illustrated swimsuit editions! Hubba-hubba!

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The NBA Wants You!

July 2nd 2006 07:24

During the week the NBA Draft was conducted and the potential

NBA Boss David Stern is the MC for the draft. He is a freestyler par excellence. (Image from Wikipedia)

destines of cellar dweller teams may have been changed. What exactly is the NBA Draft? Is it when NBA players get called up to military service and take up arms in Iraq? If only! That would make for great entertainment. Imagine Shaquille O’Neal storming Fallujah! What a sight to behold.

The NBA Draft is when teams get to pick up college kids who have declared their intention to play in the NBA, old fellas who have never played in the league or international cats who have long names that Americans would have trouble spelling, let alone pronouncing. The Draft is basically like the Sydney fish market where the best meat is up for offer and snapped up as soon as possible!

How the NBA Draft Works

The Draft is split into two rounds with the top 14 picks of the draft going to the

Yao. Yo. Yao. Yo. Ming was the top pick in 2001. (Image from officialyaomingfanclub.com)

14 teams with the worst regular season record. Those bottom feeder teams go into a lottery where it is determined who would get the top pick and so on. The team with the feeblest record has the biggest chance for the top pick.

The first round sees the number one to 30th pick on board, while the second rounds ends up at the number 60. Yes, there are that few spots on board that there are a lot of players disappointed not to be picked on the night. The Draft is tailor made for triumph and anguish.

In some years the top picks are hard fought pitched battles where owners of lousy teams sweat it out because there is a franchise changing player up there to be picked – LeBron James was probably the last player of this calibre. So, in essence the highlight for a lot of NBA players is the night they got drafted, because the rest of their career maybe spent getting splinters on their asses from sitting on the bench.

The Draft is a lottery in every sense of the word – you can either pick up a stud or a bust and because it is such an inexact science star players can be found late in the second round, while duds can even be the top pick! I mean Michael Jordan wasn’t even the top pick in the year he was up to be picked, he was third.

Picks can be traded up or down for other draftees, or they can be traded for

LeBron James was a number 1 high school draft pick. Now let's see him in Baghdad! (Image from Wikipedia)

other players already in the league. Draft night is full of political intrigue and lobbying. Who knows how many “favours” are being done behind the scenes!

Draft picks are usually picked on history and perceived playing potential in the NBA. So, what you see quite often is that a lot of college standouts being picked late or not at all, because the professional and college level of basketball is so different in standard. Surprisingly a lot of high school players have been picked high in the draft with LeBron James being one of them. However, the NBA has changed the rules of eligibility this year with players only able to declare for the NBA if they are at least 19 years old.

Here are the top 10 picks for this year’s draft and these names mean as little to me as to you. A few of the players I am familiar with because I have seen a few college games, but for the most part I wouldn’t have a clue as to who the players are.

1. Andrea Bargnani, Italy (Toronto Raptors)
2. LeMarcus Aldridge, Texas University (Chicago Bulls to Portland)
3. Adam Morrison, Gonzaga University (Charlotte Bobcats)
4. Tyrus Thomas, Louisiana State University (Portland Trailblazers to Chicago)
5. Shelden Williams, Duke University (Atlanta Hawks)
6. Brandon Roy, Washington University (Minnesota Timberwolves)
7. Randy Foye, Villanova University (Boston Celtics)
8. Rudy Gay, Connecticut University (Houston Rockets)
9. Patrick O’Bryant, Bradley University (Golden State Warriors)
10. Saer Sene, Senegal (Seattle Supersonics)

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The Best Basketball Films Ever

July 1st 2006 11:25

Sports are often proclaimed as the last true bastion of drama, which naturally makes athletics an attractive subject for moviemakers. There is an abundance of basketball movies out there and let’s face it. A lot of them are rubbish.

Basketball movies are either dumb (Slam Dunk Ernest), childish (Space Jam), or inane (The Air Up There). However, there are a few gems amongst the heap of crap according to this humble NBA writer and for new basketball fans out there here is a top five list of the best hoops flicks of all time.

5. Love & Basketball

This is the type of sports film that both the ladies and the fellas can enjoy. In

many ways Love & Basketball is a chick flick masquerading as a sports movie, but this fact does not take anything away from the film as an attractive visual spectacle.

Love & Basketball follows the story of childhood sweethearts Quincy (Omar Epps) and Monica (Sanna Lathan) who were bought together through their mutual attraction for each other and the game of basketball. Both Quincy and Monica are talented ballers who dream of professional stardom.

The usual lovelorn type drama is evident in the film where the lovers get together, face difficulties, overcome those difficulties and live happily ever after. However, what separates this film from the usual romantic fare is the fact that the basketball story juxtaposes the differences between the male and female game. Quincy plays in front of adoring crowds while Monica’s balling is purely for the love.

The basketball scenes are quite authentic and lively. Although it must be said that Monica is much more of a convincing basketball player than Quincy.

Love & Basketball is a really sweet film and it is good to see a strong female athlete represented in a positive light. So all you guys out there who want to have their sporting cake, and eat it too with your partners, see Love & Basketball.

4. Above the Rim [

Above the Rim is most notable for the appearance of the late and great

Tupac Shakur who is my dawg! Tupac plays Birdie who is the high rolling pimp in a tough inner-city neighbourhood who leads the star of the movie Kyle-Lee (Duane Martin) to the dark side of the game.

Kyle has the choice of either sticking to the straight and narrow or following the thug life with Birdie. Marlon Wayans also stars in the movie as the goof named Bugaloo. For anyone who has seen the Tupac documentary Resurrection there is a funny scene with Shakur and Wayans who joke about white writers and their motivations for calling a black character ‘Bugaloo’.

The basketball scenes are nothing outstanding and for anyone who is used to watching the And1 streetball mix tape DVD’s they would be sorely disappointed with the basketball scenes in this movie. To be fair any movie with streetball in them would fall sadly short of the standard set by the And1 ballers.

Watch this film for Tupac who was taken away from this earth far too soon.

3. He Got Game

Directed by Spike Lee, starring Denzel Washington (Jake Shuttlesworth) and real life NBA player Ray Allen (Jesus Shuttlesworth), He Got Game is a gritty story of a star basketball player and the tensions that can be evident in a

father/son relationship.

While Jake is incarcerated, his son Jesus is starting to make a name for himself as an outstanding high school basketball player. There are many intertwining themes that have much resonance in contemporary African-American communities – the lack of a father figure in the life of a young black male, morality, community and love.

The movie has many cameos from real life professional basketball players so the basketball scenes are outstanding. The story is also compelling and Ray Allen does a fair acting job which is a pleasant surprise.

Another bonus of He Got Game is the appearance of Rosario Dawson who is quite yummy as Jesus’ love interest.

2. White Men Can’t Jump

Billy Hoyle (Woody Harrelson) and Sidney Deane (Wesley Snipes) are two jive talking street basketball players who must overcome their mutual suspicions of

each other and team up to form a star streetball duo.

White Men Can’t Jump is a fast paced comedy with Billy and Sidney who are larger than life characters. The story revolves around the world of street basketball in Los Angeles where Billy and Sidney try to make a living out of hustling other ballers with Billy’s dorky, white boy appearance.

The rapport between Harrelson and Snipes is a feature of the film with the jokes flowing thick and fast. For anyone who wants a whole bunch of ‘your mama…’ type insults should rush to the nearest video store and hire this film.

The basketball scenes are kind of dated now in the shadow of the And1 mix tapes, but the actors both look pretty good as basketball players. Apparently, Woody Harrelson is quite a good baller, while Snipes is rubbish.

1. Hoop Dreams

Hoop Dreams is a 1994 documentary that follows two inner-city Chicago

juvenile basketball standouts William Gates and Arthur Agee. Hoop Dreams spans six years following the trials and tribulations of the two protagonists who begin on the same path, but eventually take dramatic and vastly different routes in life.

Hoop Dreams is what movies are for, shakes us to the core and forces us to reflect on life and the wider world as a whole.

It is more than a documentary about basketball: it’s about class, society, struggle, ambition, race and ultimately redemption.

There are no words that I can string together to illustrate how powerful and affecting this documentary is, it must be scene to be appreciated. If there is one basketball film that any reader should watch it’s Hoop Dreams. You won’t be sorry.

* All Images from Wikipedia

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Posted By: Stanley - Category: Misc

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