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NBA Loud - by Evenard M. Panes

NBA Loud - July 2006

There have been some interesting characters to say the least in NBA
Dennis Rodman was just misunderstood. (Image from Wikipedia)
history, but perhaps none was as crazy as Dennis Rodman. The Worm as he was popular known was an fruit loop par excellence, but it wasn't always that way.


When Rodman was drafted by the Detroit Pistons in the second round he was an shy Texas kid from a Division 3 University. What does Division 3 mean? Basically the third tier of college basketball. Rodzilla was a total work horse who was an physical stud, while having the type of work ethic that would make coaches drool.

The Pistons picked Dennis in the 1986 draft and couldn't have been in a better position to develop as a basketball player. Rodman was not only fortunate to play for a star studded team, but under the guidance of legendary coach Chuck Daly who would harness Rodman's energy and enthusiasm in a positive manner.

Rodzilla was most well known for his rebounding and defensive efforts and was recognised for his work stopping the opposition, winning the Defensive Player of the Year award in 1988. Do you know what else, dear reader? The man was so sensitive and stoked to win the award that he burst out crying in
Rodman and Hulk Hogan would form a deadly wrestling duo. (Image from Wikipedia)
public.


Although, people familiar with Rodman would guess that the Worm was the ultimate show pony, it is far from the case. Many people who know the inner workings of the man would attest to the fact that he was an extremely shy and sensitive person. However, there were signs that the man was not totally with it during his time with Detroit.

During his rookie season with the Pistons and battling the Boston Celtics with the legendary Larry Bird, Rodman, made a name for himself by having an outstanding defensive outfit on the superstar Celtic. When the Pistons were finally knocked out, Rodman courted controversy when he suggested that the reason Bird was so popular with the public and the press was because he was white. Needless, to say this caused a shit storm, especially when Isiah Thomas agreed with Rodman's critique. Both players were forced to apologise, but Rodman would clarify his comments years later by stating that Bird was actually close to unstoppable, and that he should have said that the reason Bird was so loved was because he played in Boston, rather than being white.

Perhaps the seminal night for Rodman was in 1993 when he was in the Detroit
Read 'Bad as I Wanna Be' for graphic details on sex with Madonna. (Image from Wikipedia)
Pistons carpark with a shotgun by his side, contemplating suicide. In his biography Bad as I Wanna Be, Rodman would state that it was this night the 'old' Dennis Rodman was killed, leading to the Worm we would all know and love.

Rodman was traded to the San Antonio Spurs during the 1993 offseason where he would break out into wider public consciousness by dying his hair a variety of colours, acting like a big loon and dating Madonna.

There was little doubt that Rodman was an effective rebounder and defender, but his crazy antics were becoming too much for the conservative Spurs organisation, and disciplinarian General Manager Gregg Popovich who traded Rodman to the Bulls.

Upon joining the Chicago Bulls and with Michael Jordan on the roster, things got really crazy. The attention on the Bulls was out of the stratosphere and Dennis thrived in the environment. Jordan wouldn't tolerate any drama from the Worm, while Coach Phil Jackson had Rodman on a tight leash. Rodman would help the Bulls win three consecutive championships, while gaining rebouding and defensive accolades along the way.

Rodman's time with the Bulls was without total drama. Kicking camera people, headbutting refs and dissing Mormons were some of his transgressions with Chicago.

Perhaps the most bizarre stunt that Rodman was involved in was when he rocked up to a book signing in a full wedding dress. Weird.

After his time with the Bulls, Dennis bounced around with the Lakers and Dallas which dumped him like a hot potato.

Dennis' personal life would see him get involved with former uber-babe Carmen Electra, marry her, dump her, then get arrested for assaulting her.

Rodman would get involved in professional wrestling with Hulk Hogan, while being a regular on police arrest sheets.

Most recently Rodman was signed to play basketball for a team in London, while probably shagging white chicks around the world. Respect.
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The FIBA World Championships is almost upon us and what better time
Yao Ming one of the stars for China. (Image from Wikipedia)
than now to preview the biggest basketball showcase outside of the Olympics. The tournament will be held in Japan this year from the 19th of August to the 3rd of September. This year's tournament sees 24 teams competing for the title of world champions from diverse countries such as Lebanon and Qatar!

Tournament play consists of four groups playing round robin matches, with the top two going onto the next round - very much like that other little world championship that was played this year involving football. You may have heard of it - the FIFA World Cup.

Serbia and Montenegro are the defending champions this time around and once again are fielding an powerful team, but perhaps not as strong as times past. Believe it or not, the Balkan States are basketball powerhouses. It may be hard to fathom but the entire continent of Europe consists of some very good basketball playing talent and nations. Not bad for an area where white people are most prominent!

The continent of South America are no slouches either when it comes to hoops with Argentina finishing as the runner-up in the last world championships, while entering this tournament as the defending Olympic champions.

However, I get the sense that all readers out there are curious as to how the boys from the Land Down Under might fare in the game of basketball? The answer quite simply is very well, thank you very much for asking. Oz-straya is ranked in the top 10 in the world, and considered a good basketball nation. Very much like football our women and junior teams are much more acclaimed than the men - but it is the humans with Y chromosome that gets most of the press and love.

The United States as alluded to in the last entry have decided to field a team that
Andres Nocioni will be doing the grunt work for Argentina. (Image from Wikipedia)
is more cohesive, while still exhibiting some of the star power of teams of yore - Dwayne Wade anyone? The US as always will be a team to watch and fear, but not as much as times past. Many of the international teams have players with NBA experience and aren't afraid to mix it up with the Yanks. In fact many of the best players of the tournament may not even be American!

The FIBA World Championships has always played second fiddle to the Olympics in terms of international basketball tournament exposure, but this should not be the case. The world championship is competitive and most of the competing teams are fielding very strong teams, featuring outstanding ballers.

Very much like the football world cup, the basketball version features an diverse array of teams representing every continent on earth - which in turn reflects the popularity of the game. Basketball is arguably the most popular sport on earth after football, and the exceptional strength of its marquee tournaments illustrates the global reach of the game. Watch this tournament and love the game because it is a sport without peer.

GROUP A

Argentina
France
Lebanon
Serbia & Montenegro
Venezuela

GROUP B

Angola
Germany
Japan
New Zealand
Panama
Spain

GROUP C

Australia
Brazil
Greece
Lithuania
Qatar
Turkey

GROUP D

China
Italy
Puerto Rico
Senegal
Slovenia
USA
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The basketball world championships are almost amongst us once again and the US squad is close to picking their final team of twelve. The faces on the
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Captain Kirk is running the ship for the US. (Image from Wikipedia)
US team are still recognisable, but the difference this time is that a more rounded team is intended to be picked for the men representing the stars and stripes.

In times past marquee names were given priority, sacrificing the concept of a cohesive unit. This system worked when the world was still trying to catch up with the US talent, but not anymore. The past two major basketball tournaments saw the so called 'Dream Team' come home without the shiny gold medal and they are now pissed.

Big names are still evident in the US team circa 2006 but there are a lot of other
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Chris Paul is bringing the speed. (Image from Wikipedia)
role players thatam would thrive under the international version of basketball.
Players such as Bruce Bowen, Kirk Hinrich and Brad Miller are names that are only known to the most avid of basketball fans. However, don't think for a moment that those players are slouches because they can seriously ball.

'Dream Teams' of the past were victims of playing an NBA style of basketball which was tossing the ball down low and trying to let their skillfull big men score. This style of play was stagnant and slow, which played into the hands of their international opposition who exhibited a more fluid and open version of basketball which destroyed the US.

Mike Krzyzewski has assembled a team that are versatile and talented, whilst still being to straight up ball. Coach K has also opened up training camp earlier
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Bruce is going to get nasty with the world. (Image from Wikipedia)
than times past allowing his men to acquaint themselves with the style of play demanded in the world game.

Perhaps the most significant characteristic of this year's version of the
American team is the fact that the players in the squad are guys that have no ego. A pleasant change from times past.

Watch out for the boys from the land of the free because they want their mantle back as the kings of basketball. Before you know it you'll be hearing the chants of U-S-A all over Japan.

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Put your hands up if you love movies! I get the sense there are a whole lot of hands pointing skywards right now. We all have seen magnificent movies that has opened our minds and expanded our horizons. Equally we all have been victims of some absolute stinkers that have made us curse the time that we have wasted and that we’ll never get back. Not so long ago on the pages of NBALOUD we analysed the best basketball films of all time according to this writer – here are the worst.

These movies are so bad that in a lot of ways they are worth watching for the utter nasty stench that surrounds these films. As viewers, these flicks makes us feel dirty and in need of a shower to clean off the grime that encapsulates any person watching these screen “gems”.

In complete honesty this list was far more difficult to compile than the best basketball themed movies because there have been some absolute howlers that are almost all as equally bad. The dire pain that these films inflict on this writer has been so profound that I still wake up at night screaming in searing pain. The horror, the horror…

5. The Air Up There

Kevin Bacon stars as college basketball coach Jimmy Dolan, who is having a
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difficult time professionally and personally. After blowing a major recruiting effort he spies a missionary film of a spectacular basketball player in Africa who is part of the Winabe tribe and gets a drunken epiphany.

Let us go back a bit and state this important plot point: Jimmy Dolan is a coach of a Catholic college! So, not only do we get a terrible basketball film, but imperialist overtones of the white man leading the minority to modernisation.

Dolan goes to Kenya to convince the basketball prodigy Saleh by any means possible to come and play basketball for his team. So, what we get is Kevin Bacon not only acting like he knows about ball, but trying to play the game too! We have all seen how fleet footed he is in Footloose, but his balling skills in this movie are dire. Yes, I realise that in Footloose there was a double dancing, but at least the shots of Bacon actually dancing looked half convincing. In The Air Up There, Bacon’s skills are so awful that even my deceased grandmother would have more ball skills than Kev, and she hasn’t played the game in her life and is actually dead!

Sorry grandma for using your name in vain and in such horrible circumstances.

4. Like Mike

Now Lil’ Bow Wow, or Bow Wow as he prefers to be called now has never
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been high in my list of artists with credibility. His faux-gangsta posing just makes this writer want to gag, very much like his role in Like Mike.

Like Mike also has the distinction of having that little kid in Jerry Maguire starring in this film too. This is as much of a gag-fest as Deep Throat was.

Lil’ Bow Wow plays Calvin, an orphan, who one day comes across a pair of magical old sneakers that gives him the ability to play unbelievable basketball. Calvin eventually plays for an NBA team and against all odds becomes an inspiration, after going through the predictable hardships that befall young Calvin from his fellow NBA teammates.

The worst aspect of this film? The NBA actually gave permission to use its licensing and that actual players appear in this film. Worse still they are made to act like they’re being schooled on the court by a punk kid!

The final indignation that any viewer has to endure whilst watching this film is to listen to the crappy rhymes of Lil’ Bow Wow.

3. Eddie

An even harder to swallow premise than Kevin Bacon acting as a basketball coach is Whoopi Goldberg playing one! But wait, it gets better. Do you dear readers know how Eddie gets to be a coach of the New York Knicks no less? Well, she wins a contest to sit on the bench one night as an honorary coach and so impresses the new, redneck owner of the Knicks that he hires her permanently to be coach.

Eddie, allow this author to emphasise is a mad Knicks fan and a very knowledgeable basketball aficionado. The sinister plot it turns out is that Wild Bill the owner of the Knicks wants New York to stink so he can move the team to St. Louis.

The other horrendous aspect of Eddie is that real NBA players make up a lot of the cast and are required to actually act! Well, let’s just say these men make the actors in the movie Showgirls look like Oscar nominees!

Get ready to puke your insides out watching Eddie try to coach a team full of professionals and actually take a charge!

You, go girl!

2. The Fish that Saved Pittsburgh

The great Julius Erving is without a shadow of a doubt one of the greatest and most popular basketball players to ever lace up some high tops. However, playing basketballer Moses Guthrie in The Fish that Saved Pittsburgh has got to be one of the more confounding career moves ever taken by an athlete.

The plot is inane. Allow me to illustrate: The Pittsburgh basketball team is utterly hopeless except for Guthrie. The other players feel the reason behind their inept basketball performances is not because of their own lack of talent, but because Moses is hogging the spotlight! So, what course of action do the players take? They walk out on the team of course! Brilliant. Why didn’t we all think of that?

The plot isn’t weird enough already? Well, the towel boy Tyrone decides to consult with an astrologist who suggests that the team should hold open tryouts for the team and select players who were born under the same star sign as Guthrie – Pisces.

What we get is a bunch of weirdos who naturally come together to form a star basketball team.

The amazing thing is that The Fish that Saved Pittsburgh has become a somewhat cult film with its disco inspired soundtrack and setting.

This film is so bad that it is almost “good”.

1. Slam Dunk Ernest

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Part of the Ernest does jack shit series Jim Varney once again plays the dimwit title character.

Ernest begins life in this film as a mascot for a city league team that he is intent on joining. After one of the players gets injured he steps into the team and becomes a star.

How does the slack-jawed yokel become a superstar baller? Well, he obtains a pair of magical shoes (Now where have we seen this plot before?) from an archangel played by Kareem Abdul-Jabbar which gives Ernest the skills to jump higher than any basketball player out there. Kareem must have decided to star in this movie after a session smoking his medicinal marijuana this writer thinks.

The city league team wins the tournament and plays NBA team the Charlotte Hornets whose players become jealous of the attention that Ernest receives.

This movie went straight to video. Enough said.



* All Images in this post are from Wikipedia
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MATURE CONTENT
   


All fans of NBALOUD don’t despair, but this writer is going to disappear from today till Sunday the 23rd due to the UNSW Law Ski Trip. I’ll be in an area that has as much white, powdery stuff as a North Shore society party. Please don’t get all emotional at my absence for all of my dear readers won’t be far away from my thoughts. Awwww.
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Where is Allen Iverson Heading?

July 19th 2006 11:46
The question on everyone’s lips: Is Marissa getting whacked on the OC? And will she end up in Queensland? Wait a minute, this isn’t a forum for
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AI: One cool mofo. (Image from alleniversonlive.com)
trash television, but rather a space for highbrow discussion such as crime, groupies, drugs and criminal behaviour! Oh, and some sport called basketball, in some league called the NBA, and in some faraway land called America! Well, the other question on the minds of the collective known as humanity is: What team is Allen Iverson heading to? From Melbourne to Mumbai this query is being hotly debated on every street corner and coffee salon! Don’t believe me? Why shouldn’t you! I am Stanley hear me roar!

Philly Sixers General Manager Billy King short of drawing diagrams has all but confirmed the fact that his biggest drawcard, and Philadelphia darling, Allen Iverson is on the move. The most discussed destination thus far for AI has been Boston, but a trade hasn’t been pulled yet due to a myriad of reasons. NBA rules stipulate that contract numbers must be similar between the teams so one player can be traded for three for example. Furthermore, other teams can get involved and a whole complicated inter-relationship will evolve with numerous teams mixing and matching players – just like Temptation Island.

There is no doubting the superstar credentials of Allen Iverson and his will to
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My man is freaking out about his destination. (Image from alleniversonlive.com)
win. Hell, the man averaged 33 points last season! That, my dear reader is not an easy feat to achieve, especially at 31 years of age. Which also is the exact reason why Iverson hasn’t been attractive trade bait as Billy King would have liked. We have an aging superstar, who demands a lot of shots, while being small and taking a heap of punishment. Iverson is no Shaquille O’Neal who is a beast of a human being, but rather a fragile player who has many miles on the good ol’ engine. Also, if Iverson was to go to any team he would immediately change the dynamic with his demands for the ball and being a one man scoring machine. This reality rules out contenders who are close to the championship, leaving teams on the bottom rung of the NBA ladder to clamour for his services – which they aren’t.

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A hair raising talent. (Image from slamonline.com)
The other and perhaps most important factor: money. Paying AI $20 million per year for a 31 year old isn’t smart business practice.

Finally, AI still has not truly shaken off his notorious reputation and being sent to a losing team would surely make the great man go postal. It is amazing in this world that we have such lofty ideals as loyalty to an entity, but as soon as the party with the lower bargaining power, in this case Iverson, is no longer useful to the machine he gets cast away – history virtually erased.

Damn the Man!

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Streetball and the And1 Mix Tapes

July 18th 2006 12:11
Are there any readers out there familiar with the following monikers
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The Professor is the only white player on the And1 team and the most popular. (Image from and1.com)
and terms? The Professor, Hot Sauce, Skip to My Lou, Sik Wit It, Off the Chain, Off the Hizzle etc. Has this NBA writer been smoking too much whacky tabbac-y? Maybe this humble writer has been watching too much Doggy Fizzle Televizzle, or maybe I have finally received my doctorate in Ebonics! Well, no, none of the above, the aforementioned words and labels refers to streetball. The term streetball relates to the version of basketball that we are most familiar – ball that is played on mainly urban playgrounds.

The NBA maybe the domain of the gods of the game, streetball is the heart and soul. The street game is where NBA players not only start off their careers, but receive their inspiration. For all intents and purposes streetball has the same rules as the regular game, but it is more concerned with style, with substance. It’s not enough to win, but you have to win pretty. The best exponents of the style achieve things on the basketball court that we can’t even imagine.
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Don't let Escalade's size fool you. He can ball with style. (Image from and1.com)


Streetball has garnered increased interest in recent years with the most prominent proponents of the style being the And1 Streetball team. Many readers might not be familiar with the team, but this writer can assure you that any suburban teenager who is obsessed with urban culture can tell you who these guys are. They are demigods in a lot of areas and in many ways just as popular as NBA players.

And1 is a basketball apparel brand that has a decidedly outlaw image and are closely associated with the street game. Although a number of NBA players rock the And1 brand, it is most connected with the street version of the game. The And1 team came into prominence due to underground basketball tapes that was working its way around amongst American inner-city kids finally falling into the hands of the And1 company.

The founders of the And1 brand were blown away with what they were watching and signed up the men on the tape to form a team of streetball l
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Spyda doing his thang. (Image from and1.com)
egends to take on all comers. ESPN followed suit and the rest is history. The And1 Mix tape Tours have become an American summer staple drawing big crowds and wannabe legends.

Streetball is what Jazz used to be when Miles Davis and John Coltrane would just jam without form and rules, or hip hop when it first came into being with DJ Kool Herc or Afrika Bambaataa creating something new and groundbreaking. Streetball is a form of basketball that has to be seen to be believed. Players like the And1 ballers make the game seem so beautiful that it can be equated to art, rather than sport.

This writer urges all readers to sit back and enjoy the visual stylings before you because you’ll be transported to another basketball planet.




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The Footballroos may have represented Australia with great honour in the recent World Cup but who really thought the team had a chance of
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Put the Socceroos out of your mind and love the Boomers. I order you to! (Image from Wikipedia)
winning? Be honest. However, if any reader out there is still thirsty to see more green and gold action from athletes representing a nation full of ockers should consider watching the basketball world championships next month in Japan. Australia is there and is a great medal chance. Believe it or not, Australia is a fantastic basketball nation with both male and female teams highly regarded.

Readers out there may think that international basketball competitions are dominated by the Americans who are represented by NBA players but this is not the case. Although, individually the US team have more talent than any other team on earth they actually have lousy team chemistry in recent times. They didn’t win the last championships which saw the team from Serbia & Montenegro take out the whole shebang, while in the Athens Olympics the winner were from Argentina. The Olympics bore witness to the so-called ‘Dream Team’ come third, while in the 2002 championships they didn’t even figure in the medals!

As you can see dear reader the Americans aren’t as dominant and will find it
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Has anyone cared about Australian basketball since the retirement of Andrew Gaze? (Image from FIBA.com)
extremely difficult to win the whole thing. The world has caught up with the United States and arguably play a more attractive and cohesive style of basketball. American players are notorious for playing showy low percentage basketball and are fundamentally flawed in a lot of aspects of the game.

Just like football, the presence of players from an international background has not only made the NBA more cosmopolitan, but has improved the collective standard of world basketball.

The Boomers, even though aren’t as renowned as their female counterparts, the Opals are as mentioned earlier a fair chance to gain a medal. Male Australian teams have found a lack of success in the senior ranks thus far, but in junior basketball they have been extremely successful winning both gold and silver.

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The official World Champs mascots. How very un-Japanese looking these mascots are. (Image from FIBA.com)
Australia has a strong team but has drawn a tough group with basketball powerhouses Greece, Lithuania and Brazil. Yes, you have read correctly, Greece and Brazil has talented basketball teams and aren’t exclusively focused on football. In fact despite our perceptions of Greek boys obsessed with football here in Australia growing up the opposite is the reality – basketball is the number one sport in Greece. Now, that your assumptions have been messed with allow me to break another misconception – this NBA writer has flaws! Yes, believe it or not this “humble” writer isn’t as perfect as you dear reader is led to believe.

Now that the Oprah component of this entry is done with let us look at the Boomer squad for the World Championships in August.




Boomers Squad for World Championships

David Andersen
Chris Anstey
David Barlow
Andrew Bogut
Aaron Bruce
CJ Bruton
Adam Caporn
Peter Crawford
Ian Crosswhite
Brad Davidson
Daniel Dillon
Oscar Forman
James Harvey
Wade Helliwell
Russel Hinder
Jacob Holmes
Nathan Jawai
Luke Kendall
Daniel Kickert
Matthew Knight
Steven Leven
Sam Mackinnon
Alex Maric
Steven Markovic
Damien Martin
Patrick Mills
Neil Mottram
Brad Newley
Matthew Nielsen
Damian Ryan
Glen Saville
Jason Smith
Greg Vanderjagt
Mark Worthingon

Coach: Brian Goorjian

So, dear reader, wrap yourself in the green and gold again and embrace this team from the Land Down Under, where women blow and men chunder! Yes, I know those aren’t the right lyrics but these lines is more of an accurate representation of Australians!

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Offseason NBA News and Rumours

July 16th 2006 03:57
Although it is the NBA offseason and the marquee players are partying and hanging around gorgeous women there really isn’t a break in the business
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Ben Wallace: The next Michael Jordan. (Image from Wikipedia)
side of things. With the draft, free agency signings, summer leagues, the NBA is always humming along, albeit a little more quietly during this time of the year. NBALOUD so far has covered, violence, drugs and not to mention the ladies, but ‘what about the offseason news?’ I hear hardcore NBA fans asking. Firstly, if you were a hardcore fan of the NBA you’d know the latest gossip wouldn’t you? NBALOUD isn’t a depository for breaking news here. The only time I get access to players is when I am playing video games such as NBA Live or having an ‘episode’ where I hallucinate and see things that aren’t real.

In the off chance that there are NBA fans out there who aren’t up to speed of the latest happenings in the league here is the most recent news and rumours in bite sized chunks:

• The Sixers are looking to trade Allen Iverson and his most likely destination might be the Boston Celtics. If the trade does go ahead it should be interesting to see how Iverson and Paul Pierce get along with one another. The relationship should be as stable as John Howard and Snoop Dogg.
• Ben Wallace has been traded to the Chicago Bulls! Yes, you’ve read correctly. This NBA writer will pretend that all the visitors to this space will have their mouths open with surprise because of the shocking news that they have had to digest. I will give everyone out there a few seconds to catch their breath. Now, there: Was that enough time? Wallace who has so long been synonymous with the Detroit Pistons has called it a day. The flipside is that Big Ben signed for four years at a rumoured cool $52 million. Reports suggest that the big selling point to bring The Beast to Chi-Town was the possibility that Kevin Garnett might be lured back home in the next season.
• Uber-coach Larry Brown has been fired from the New York Knicks with Isiah Thomas taking over from the former super coach. How is Thomas going to go on the hot seat? This NBA writer predicts a riot – in the bad sense of the word.

Well, dear reader with that I bid you all adieu and in the immortal words of Jeff Fenech: ‘I love youse all’.
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It’s the 10th anniversary of the WNBA and we should all celebrate the fact that not only is there a viable league for women to show off their game on
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Lynx rookie Seimone Augustus showing she has big things ahead for her in the WNBA. (Image from Wikipedia)
the hardwood floor, but is extremely popular as well! The league has grown and slowly prospered and is gaining a foothold in the public imagination in the US.

During the week the All-Star game was held and what a great display of basketball was shown by the women. In the 3-point competition veteran superstar Dawn Staley won the inaugural contest in clutch fashion – hitting her final two shots to edge out Katie Douglas by one point, 17-16. Give it up for Dawn!

Unfortunately, Dawn won’t be back to defend her title next year as she has already announced her retirement from the game at the end of the season. What a nice way to leave the game though.

In the All-Star Dribble, Dish and Swish skills competition Minnesota Lynx rookie Seimone Augustus covered the obstacle course faster than any of her competitors, including super-quick, Seattle standout Sue Bird.

The skills competition utilises all of the fundamental aspects of basketball such as speed, accuracy, passing and shooting. The number one pick not only was victorious in the skills competition, but was a surprise selection in her rookie season as an All-Star reserve for the West. Not to mention beating the two time Dribble, Dish and Swish winner Sue Bird.

It was a great display by the rookie who has shown there will be big things ahead for her in the WNBA.

In the main event Lauren Jackson flew the flag for Australia as the starting forward for the West All-Star team. The Western Conference team came into the game with an imposing seven win, zero loss record to the East and looked to be favourites to keep the status quo. The dominance of the West extends
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All-Star MVP Katie Douglas was just awesome! (Image from Wikipedia)
further than the All-Star game – the championship team eight of the ten years of WNBA history have come from the west coast. That dear reader is dominance!

All of that history amounted to nought in the 2006 version of the game where the East thrashed the West with a comprehensive 98-82 win. The ladies from the East took a nine point lead into the half, extending it to 25 by the end of the third. The decade long dominance of the West was about to come to an end and how did the ladies from the East celebrate? By turning the game into a dunk contest with the remaining few seconds – first Diana Taurasi missed her attempt, while Michelle Snow put the exclamation mark on the contest with a reverse dunk! What a superwoman!

The All-Star game MVP was the Connecticut Sun’s Katie Douglas who dropped 16 points and who teamed up with three of her club teammates and fellow All-Stars to combine for 39 points to destroy the West. Respect!




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Michael Jordan may be the most famous basketball player of all time but
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Jumpman. (Image from Wikipedia)
there is another famous association with MJ – Air Jordan’s. Perhaps the most desirable piece of athletic footwear in history, Jordan’s signature shoe brand has been lusted and even killed for by people who have tried desperate means to obtain the fashionable piece of footwear.

In 1984 when His Airness broke into the league he signed with Nike an exclusive shoe deal that was a breakthrough in the sense that this was the first shoe line named after an individual athlete. The shoe is still as popular as ever reaping a reported $33 million in profits in 2005, with the ‘jumpman’ logo identifiable the world over.

The first pair of Air Jordan’s generated huge initial interest when it was
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Air Jordan 1. (Image from air-jordans.com)
released to a firestorm of controversy when the NBA tried to ban the shoe due to the black and red colour scheme violating the uniform rules of the league. The symbol of the first pair of the seminal shoes had the words ‘Air Jordan Wings’ as the logo rather than the famous ‘jumpman’.

The ‘jumpman’ didn’t appear on the shoe until the third version when there was a visible air bubble on display as well, the first of its kind. The number 3’s came at a time during a Jordan perfect storm when he received his first MVP award, while winning the slam dunk competition and leading the Bulls to their best record since the mid-70’s. Air Jordan 3 needless to say was extremely popular with the masses but there was a little known fact associated with the third instalment of this shoe line – Jordan wasn’t happy with the first two shoes and threatened to leave prior to the release of Air Jordan 3.

Nike and Jordan’s agents convinced Michael to stay with the company upon the
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Air Jordan 3. (Image from air-jordans.com)
release of the third shoe to see how the design would turn out, and how popular the shoe was with the public. Jordan ended up loving the design and so did the public. Who would have known what might have been for Nike and Jordan if he broke the association?

It was during the third release of the shoe that MJ teamed up with Spike Lee and his alter-ego Mars Blackmon to produce the popular commercials for the Air Jordan brand. Mars was a character in Lee’s film She’s Gotta Have It in which he refused to take off his Air Jordan’s even to make love.

Air Jordan number four was the first shoe that was released to a worldwide
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Mars: 'It's gotta be the shoes'. (Image from Wikipedia)
consumer market, with its revolutionary cushioning system and groundbreaking design Jordan number 4 was a universal hit, much like its predecessor.

There have been 21 versions of the Air Jordan’s since the original, while the development of the Jordan Team brand has signed up young NBA superstars like Carmelo Anthony displaying the ‘jumpman’ logo on their feet. Furthermore, the Jordan brand has extended its tentacles beyond the game of basketball by signing up American football players such as Terrell Owens and Major League Baseball superstar Derek Jeter to the Jordan team.
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Put your hands up if you love weed! I see a lot of hands up there with the readers of NBALOUD, not that I am surprised that readers of this space would be into the Mary Jane. Do you readers out there know who else loves Ganga? NBA players apparently!

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This plant is one of the reasons why kebabs are so popular. (Image from Wikipedia)


Basketball Players that have been charged with marijuana possession reads like an all-star list of players flying higher than kites!

The NBA regular releases awards and accolades such as the All-NBA First, or Defensive Teams, so let this be the first list of the All-NBA Marijuana Team. Not only are we compiling a roster of which NBA players have been busted for hemp, but under which circumstances they were busted with the magical weed.

So, can we please have a drum roll for the first NBA All-Marijuana Team!

Point Guard: Damon Stoudamire

Mighty Mouse has already been mentioned on these pages for his infamous problems with weed. Let’s just say that walking through an airport metal detector with marijuana wrapped in foil isn’t the brainiest of moves. However, with the accolade of joining the hallowed position with a place in the NBALOUD All-Marijuana team Damon can whoop it up in White Castle!

Shooting Guard: Isaiah “J.R.” Rider

Former NBA player Isaiah Rider is perhaps the poster child of NBA criminality. The man was a walking legal hazard, which included the use of Mary Jane. Rider was a spectacular talent, but a complete fruit loop.

Rider was a high flyer, and no, not just with the consumption of Ganga. Isaiah was a highlight reel waiting to happen every time he walked onto the hardwood floor. Perhaps his most famous moment was during the All-Star weekend in the slam dunk competition when Rider produced a dunk he labelled as the ‘East Bay Funk Dunk’. What was involved in this dunk? Well, while in mid-air Rider swapped the ball from his right to left hand. Nothing spectacular with that right? Well, how ‘bout swapping the ball between his legs!

Now, this writer is not for one moment suggesting that marijuana played a part in his inspiration for the dunk. However, there is no evidence out there to suggest that he didn’t conceive of the idea for the ‘East Bay Funk Dunk’ during a smoke-o session!

Forward: Chris Webber

C-Webb was once a spectacular player who was groomed to be an all time great. It is debatable whether he has lived up to his potential, but his place in the All-Marijuana team is assured when in 1998 while playing for Washington he was pulled over for speeding, driving under the influence of weed and possession of the magical plant.

Want more marijuana trouble from Webber? Later that year while on promotional duties for sponsor Fila in Puerto Rico he was busted by U.S. Customs for carrying 11 grams of Mary Jane with his luggage.

Congratulations, Chris on being an All-Marijuana team member on NBALOUD.

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C-Webb livin' La Vida Loca after returning from Puerto Rico. (Image from Wikipedia)



Forward: Rasheed Wallace

A former member of the Portland Jailblazers ‘Sheed has at times been a notorious member of the NBA family. Equally hot-headed and talented Wallace has been renowned for his penchant for collecting technical fouls and getting in trouble with the law.

His place on the prestigious All-Marijuana team was confirmed in 2002 when he was arrested and charged with possession of hemp.

It must be noted that since joining the Detroit Pistons Wallace has been a model citizen. Still, this doesn’t prevent him from being part of the All-Marijuana team!

Centre: Kareem Abdul-Jabbar

Undoubtedly, one of the greatest players in NBA history, the all-time highest scorer has one of the sweetest deals with marijuana ever. Kareem apparently has a prescription for the medicinal use of marijuana in California for nausea-inducing migraine headaches! Word!

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Kareem joins Homer Simpson as a legal user of Ganga for medicinal purposes. Apparently. (Image from Wikipedia)





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In the last posting we analysed the contracts of the draft class of 2003 which was a stellar year for rookies – LeBron, Dwayne, Bosh and Carmelo are some of the marquee names that came into the league of that great year. There is one name missing. When the players who were drafted announced their intentions to enter the best basketball league in the world there was a name that was perhaps mentioned as much as LeBron James. Who is this man of mystery? Why, come on down Darko Milicic! “Who?” I hear all you readers collectively asking – Darko! Darko! Darko is the answer.

Darko Milicic believe it or not was the number two pick after LeBron James. Yes, that’s right, The Human Victory Cigar was picked before Carmelo Anthony and Dwayne Wade. “Say what? Whatchu talkin’ ‘bout Willis?” Darko was the number two pick and came with a lot of hype. The bad boys from Detroit picked him up and, hey, it didn’t really do them any harm because they won the
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Darko Milicic. Who? (Image from Wikipedia)
championship that year! Well, dear reader, Darko was about as useful as a turd flavoured ice cream!

Milicic saw little playing time and the only time he came on and got some court time was when the game result was beyond doubt for Detroit, hence, the nickname ‘The Human Victory Cigar’.

“Surely there must have been something that Detroit saw in him?” I hear all you pleadingly ask this humble NBA writer. Well, we have to keep in mind that Detroit was a good team already and got the number two pick via a trade so they could afford to be experimental in their draft choice and they went to the extreme in far out picks with this one.

Darko was playing in Europe and was extremely young and raw when the Pistons chose him. He looked to be a sound pick – 7-foot, ‘nice’ shooting touch, able to run and jump. What the hell! Let’s pick up the kid. Er, this will probably go down as one of the worst picks in NBA history.

Darko’s career averages – 3 points, 1.9 rebounds and .08 blocks per game. Remember folks, he was picked before Dwayne Wade who is widely considered the best player in the league of this moment.

“What has happened to The Human Victory Cigar?” Well, my curious reader friend, Detroit gave up on their little project and traded him to the Orlando Magic.

Let’s be fair. He is still very young and raw. Perhaps we will see a superstar emerge just yet. Until then, I wouldn’t hold my breath.




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